Nope, it's the end of summer actually. Autumn and winter are approaching, and I for one am not impressed.
Is it because I'm still on New Zealand time and September = Spring? Perhaps. But I think it's more the fact that I feel like I've missed out on a summer this year. I can count on one hand the times I've left the house without a coat on since moving to Mull. It's gotten above 18 degrees even less than that.
When I was packing to move up here, it was April and warm. I optimistically packed one jumper and decided that would be enough as I was just moving here for the summer. Summer does not equal jumpers. Yes it was Scotland and yes I'd heard the rumours that Scotland is cold and wet. But I figured the British like to exaggerate especially when it comes to the weather, and really it wouldn't be that bad.
A week later I made my mum post the rest of my jumpers up to me. I haven't taken them off since.
This may sound like the ramblings of a crazed woman, but to be honest I'm just a bit fed up. I LIVE for summer. I'm not one of these people who love it when autumn arrives and they can wrap up in all the layers. I want to wear shorts and t-shirt at all times. I want to be too hot and sweaty and never take my sunglasses off and swim in the sea and read a book outside and get bitten by mozzies and go camping and have lunchtime outdoor beers and not even think about coats or jeans for months. I love it all.
Whilst we've had maybe two or three days like that here, it's mostly been raining and cold.
Back in December Nick and I moved back to the UK. We left NZ, a country that we are completely in love with and were so happy living in. We left our gorgeous house by the sea, left Kaikoura - a town that felt like our home, sold and gave away our things and moved back.
We moved back to be closer to our families and our friends.
We moved back in with our parents and spent four months applying for every single job that we could find. It was hard work, job hunting and not earning. We wanted to see our friends but had to be careful with money, so mostly we didn't see them. Jobs we thought we'd easily get didn't even get back to us.
Then finally, FINALLY after four months of nothing, Nick got an interview and was then offered a job as a wildlife guide up here on the Isle of Mull. He obviously took it, and soon after I was offered my job in the same place. It was SUCH a relief. Yes I wouldn't be earning very much, neither would Nick, but they were JOBS and in the same place, and in fields that we both wanted to be in. Amazing.
Mull is an island on the west coast of Scotland, part of the inner Hebrides. It's a beautiful place, wild and green and full of incredible wildlife. It's an exciting place to be, and I'm grateful that we were able to live here for a few months. I've been lucky enough to go sailing on my work's research boat for a few days, have seen multiple minke whales, dolphins and even a basking shark. I've learned a lot about marine conservation and met interesting people who have shared so much knowledge with me. I've seen the sea every day and climbed a mountain and been surrounded by nature. There have been many highlights to living here.
What I wasn't prepared for was quite how far away it is from everything and everyone that we came back for. It sometimes feels like I'm on another planet never mind the other side of the UK. We've been very lucky in that some of our friends have been up to visit us, but it hasn't been possible for everyone. We've managed to go down south for a wedding and Harlequin fayre, but it took a LOT of time, money, and energy. I keep wondering why I haven't been able to save any money since being here, and realised it's because I spent everything on getting off the island to see my friends twice, for two weekends.
It's been quite a lonely few months up here. My colleagues are great, and the girls I work with every day are brilliant and have honestly kept me sane. But there haven't been many people we've connected with so we've spent a lot of time just the two of us. Good job we get on pretty well!
We also live in a houseshare, and at 31/32 having had our own place and thinking we'd never go back to housemates again, has felt like we've gone back 10 years. Unfortunately it's almost impossible to find a rental place in Tobermory as everywhere has been turned into holiday houses.
This week two of my friends back down south have each been to gigs/shows that I would have LOVED to have gone to. That's why I came back - to do these sorts of things with the people I care about. But stuck up here I can't do any of that. I may as well be on the other side of the world. Yet this was the only place we were both able to get a job.
We thought living up in Scotland would satisfy us and our need to live in a wild place. It's the closest we can get to the NZ way of life whilst still being in the UK. But for me I just find it frustrating being so close yet so far from our loved ones.
Now we're about to leave the island again as the summer season finishes. We're back to square one, and will probably go back to live with our parents and job hunt again. How long will it take this time? Another four months? Longer?
A few people have told Nick to just apply for any old thing, which I think is unfair. Marine conservation and wildlife is his passion and area of expertise. It'd be like telling an electrician to just get a job as a receptionist. Why should he settle for something else?
We're just tired of seasonal jobs now. We're in our 30s and the seasonal workers we meet are all in their early/mid 20s. We want to be a bit settled (I used to hate that word and now I'm craving it) and be able to have a dog and buy nice cushions and invite people over for dinner.
I am sorry for this negative post, I know none of these problems are that big. I know it'll all be fine and things will work out. I know these are first world problems and I should just pipe down and be grateful for the life I've got (which is bloody amazing to be fair). I'm just frustrated, I miss my friends and family, and I miss the life we had in Kaikoura. I felt closer to them in NZ than I do in Scotland.
We're looking into moving back over there. We've used up all the working holiday visa options but there are a few other possible ways of going back. It'll be difficult and cost a lot of money, and it'll be incredibly hard to leave everyone again. But both of us feel quite strongly that we're meant to live back there one day.
Usually I'd be able to rant about all of this over wine with my besties, then we'd all laugh and I'd realise everything is actually fine. But that isn't possible at the moment, and I am a millennial after all so the next best thing is ranting to the world over social media! You lucky lucky people.
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