Wednesday 6 March 2019

The F Word

On Sunday my friends and I donned suffragette sashes and rosettes, a generous amount of face glitter and a bucket load of righteous female attitude and marched our way through the rain towards Westminster Methodist Central Hall. We were joining over 1600 other folk at March4Women2019, an annual event usually in the form of a march across central London, but this year took the shape of an indoor rally.


The venue was no afterthought either. Methodist Central Hall happens to be an early meeting place of what would become the Suffragette Movement over 100 years ago. We let this fact sink in properly as we settled into our seats, and took a moment to think of all the incredibly brave women that came before and did so much for us. 


The afternoon was wonderful. A real joyful celebration of women opening with Beverley Knight singing 'I'm Every Woman'  and everybody dancing down the aisles.

There was more music and interviews with activists and badass women who have changed actual laws to improve the lives of women, men and non-binary folk. Celebrities including Helena Bonham Carter and David Tennant gave readings and Annie Lennox closed the event. It was just fantastic.

Beautiful Jayne reacting in the appropriate way as Annie Lennox arrives on stage

We left the venue inspired, empowered and full of energy, and marched off once more through the torrential rain in search of a pub where we could toast each other, and the heroines who risked everything for us a hundred years ago. 


I've wanted to write about feminism for a long time. The point of starting this blog was to give myself a blank slate to talk about all things that matter to me, instead of being restricted to travel writing. So far the posts have mostly been about travel and general life updates which is fine, but they are subjects I find easy to write about. Being a feminist is something I am proud of, but sometimes struggle to put into words.

This isn't uncommon and I know others have the same problem when it comes to talking about something that stirs up emotion. When I feel put on the spot, especially by someone with strong opposing views, I completely freeze and can't remember any of my own opinions never mind any facts. This usually results in an outburst of anger or emotional tears from myself, making any point that comes out of my mouth completely useless and just reinforces the other person's point of view.

I have so much admiration for friends who always seem to know what to say in these situations. My best friend Kate has always been incredible at debating, ever since we met aged 11. I remember watching her in awe during high school debates and marveling at how well she remembered key points, listened carefully to her opponent and gave amazing answers. I would sit silently at the back avoiding the teacher and praying I wasn't called on next! Kate says she suffers with emotional brain freeze all the time too, but to me it seems like she's always nailing it. 


I used to think 'Feminist' was a dirty word. Up until I was about 21 I was the type of person who would claim to 'just get on more easily with boys' despite having had solid female friendship groups my entire life. I thought being a feminist meant I had to HATE men, which obviously didn't sound appealing at all. My only obvious point of reference was an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch where she went back in time to the 60's and the women were talking about being feminists and burning their bras. I genuinely thought being a feminist meant I had to burn my bras, stop shaving my legs and throw away my hair straighteners and make up. To sum up...I WAS CLUELESS. Good job I had Kate as a best friend!

Kate has improved my life in many ways over the past 20 years but one of the things I will thank her for to the end of my days was when she lent me her copy of Caitlin Moran's How To Be A Woman. This book completely changed my life. I learned that being a feminist didn't mean any of the things I had previously thought. In the first chapter she breaks it down into such a simple definition even my tiny ignorant brain could handle it:

She wrote that all it means is the belief that everybody should be equal. That is all. No bra burning. No leg hair growing (unless you want to, which is absolutely fine too), no hair straightener binning (luckily I did this on my own anyway a few years later). Just the belief in equality for all, focusing on addressing the imbalance between men and women.

The way she wrote about feminism made it sound exciting and fun, a club that I wanted to be a part of. She made me realise I already WAS a feminist, I just hadn't noticed yet. It also stirred something in my heart that had been lying dormant for years but was more than ready to wake up. I cried a lot whilst reading the book, realising that so many things that had happened to me and my friends in the past that I thought were normal and fine, were absolutely not. That the way my gender was treated by male friends, boyfriends, strangers and the media was wrong and 'boys being boys' wasn't an excuse that sat with me well anymore. I realised that we live in a patriarchal society whose expectations of men and women continuously lead to serious problems for all genders.

After I finished the book I read it again from the start to finish. I was angry that it had taken me so long to have this epiphany, but I was excited and ready to start living as a baby feminist. I began to notice inequality everywhere I turned. It may have been more comfortable living in my previous bubble but I was so glad to have finally woken up to this new way of looking at life. 


I realised feminist heroes had been there all along quietly pushing me in the right direction. As an eight year old Disney Princess obsessive convinced that once you find your 'prince' and get married everything will be OK, the Spice Girls were the heroines I didn't know I needed. My parents may have been shocked at my abrupt change of music taste (and clothes) but they taught me that girls could have fun and support each other without a prince in sight. I spent most of my 13th year singing along with Destiny's Child about how "I pay my own fun and I pay my own bills, always fifty fifty in relationships" (spoiler alert readers: I had no bills and had never been in a relationship) but was SOLD on the idea of being an Independent Woman. Leia was there too, showing me that princesses can save themselves and be total bad-asses even when it seems like you're the only woman in a galaxy full of men.



There were the women in my real life too of course. My Mum, starting her own business from scratch and generally being the most loving, kind and amazing person I know. My Granny, always doing exactly what she wanted and never settling. All of my Aunties and my female cousins, all inspirational women who have fought their own tough battles. And of course Kate - my best friend and soul sister. Thank you for sticking by me when I declared myself 'not a feminist'. For patiently explaining what it actually meant. For showing me unconditional love and support all the time. For lending me 'How To Be A Woman.' For fighting every day for women and our equality. You're a radical feminist babe!

Annie Lennox closed the March4Women event by encouraging us all to be 'Global Feminists'. To believe in the ‘equality of rights, with empowerment and justice made available to every woman and girl in every corner of the world".This is something I want to take seriously and use my privilege as a white western woman to be an advocate for those who's voices aren't heard. You can read more about Annie's work here and how to get involved.

There's a lot more I want to say. This post is just the start, an introduction really. I hope to focus on and write about specific issues, interview women about their stories, and hopefully report back on a lot more marches and rallies. 

Peace, Love and Girl Power x