What's the story in Tobermory?

Staying true to the name of this blog, Nick and I have once again uprooted and this time moved up to the Isle of Mull in Scotland. For those who don't know, Mull is the second largest island in the Inner Hebrides and lies just off the west coast of Scotland. We moved here because after a few months of sending off many, many, MANY job applications all over the country, Nick was offered a wildlife guide job for a whale and dolphin watching tour company. It is so incredibly hard to find an actual paying job in the marine conservation or marine tourism field in the UK, so it was such a relief for both of us when he was offered the position. I was then offered a role at the Hebridean Whale and Dolphin Trust, working in their visitors centre in Tobermory. I'm really enjoying it so far and get to talk about whales and dolphins all day long - heaven! Both our jobs are seasonal roles and will end some time around September/October when the town quietens down for the winter months.

That's Tobermory - you may recognize it from it's television alter ego Balamory!

We've been here a month now and it's safe to say that Mull is absolutely stunning. Even when driving around the island on a rainy day, the views take my breath away. The mountains are dramatic, the lochs and beaches are beautiful and the wildlife is epic. So far I've seen minke whales, common dolphins, harbour porpoise, puffins, red deer, golden eagles and white tailed eagles. Nick saw his first basking shark of the summer this week, and has had a few encounters with bottlenose dolphins (Scotland has the biggest bottlenose beasts in the world!) I feel very lucky to be spending a summer here and will try cram as much as possible into the next few months.

It feels like a different world up here. The water is so clear and some of the rock formations are insane. I never thought I'd get excited about rock formations but here we are. We went on a boat tour to Lunga to see the colony of puffins last week and oh my GAWSH are they cute. Did you know a baby puffin is called a PUFFLING?! As if they couldn't get more adorable.

Although we're incredibly grateful for these jobs, we're definitely at a point in life now where we'd quite like to stay in one place for a bit longer instead of moving from one seasonal job to the next. We both love going to new places and meeting new people, but being the 'newbies' all the time definitely takes it's toll, especially in small communities where friendships are already so tight.

It's really got me thinking about how moving around all the time affects us all and our emotional well-being. As humans we crave community, it's how our brains are wired. Once upon a time, you would be born in a certain town, grow up and get a job, marry a local, have kids and continue the cycle. Nobody would leave the place they grew up in and would therefore have a tight community of family and friends that would look out for one another. These days most of us will leave home at 18 and many won't end up going back. A lot of us will move cities, countries and even continents and won't settle down in the traditional sense, but keep moving to the next place, the next job, next adventure.

Now I'm not saying there's a right or wrong way to live out a life and there's definitely pros and cons to both. But from our own experience and talking to friends who are in the same position as us, not having that tight community of people around who know you, really know you properly, can leave you feeling out of place and a bit lost, even in the most beautiful of places. Sometimes all it takes is a connection with one or two other people and suddenly you feel a bit more at home, and sometimes it's something a lot bigger.

After the earthquake in Kaikoura our little community developed a bond so strong that I'll always feel a deep connection to the town and to everyone who went through it. We felt at home in Kaikoura much quicker than we probably would have if it wasn't for the earthquake because everybody pulled together to get through that difficult time, helping each other out and having each other's back when things were tough. It was community in the true sense of the word. I miss Kaikoura and New Zealand all the time and still feel like we're not quite done with it yet.

I'm not really sure what my point is here but it's something I've been mulling over, and a recent chat with a friend who's just moved to a new town and is struggling a bit got me thinking about it all. Saying all that, I wouldn't swap our adventures and the experiences we've had for the world!

We don't know what we're going to do when this season comes to an end in October, or where we'll end up anchoring down next, so watch this space. For now we're going to soak up as much of Mull as possible, see as much wildlife as we can, and enjoy each day of Scottish summer! The weather has been mostly lush so far, which everyone says is rare for Mull. I'm hoping it continues, but even if it doesn't, there are far worse places to be!

The F Word

On Sunday my friends and I donned suffragette sashes and rosettes, a generous amount of face glitter and a bucket load of righteous female attitude and marched our way through the rain towards Westminster Methodist Central Hall. We were joining over 1600 other folk at March4Women2019, an annual event usually in the form of a march across central London, but this year took the shape of an indoor rally.

The venue was no afterthought either. Methodist Central Hall happens to be an early meeting place of what would become the Suffragette Movement over 100 years ago. We let this fact sink in properly as we settled into our seats, and took a moment to think of all the incredibly brave women that came before and did so much for us. 

The afternoon was wonderful. A real joyful celebration of women opening with Beverley Knight singing 'I'm Every Woman'  and everybody dancing down the aisles.

There was more music and interviews with activists and badass women who have changed actual laws to improve the lives of women, men and non-binary folk. Celebrities including Helena Bonham Carter and David Tennant gave readings and Annie Lennox closed the event. It was just fantastic.

Beautiful Jayne reacting in the appropriate way as Annie Lennox arrives on stage

We left the venue inspired, empowered and full of energy, and marched off once more through the torrential rain in search of a pub where we could toast each other, and the heroines who risked everything for us a hundred years ago. 

I've wanted to write about feminism for a long time. The point of starting this blog was to give myself a blank slate to talk about all things that matter to me, instead of being restricted to travel writing. So far the posts have mostly been about travel and general life updates which is fine, but they are subjects I find easy to write about. Being a feminist is something I am proud of, but sometimes struggle to put into words.

This isn't uncommon and I know others have the same problem when it comes to talking about something that stirs up emotion. When I feel put on the spot, especially by someone with strong opposing views, I completely freeze and can't remember any of my own opinions never mind any facts. This usually results in an outburst of anger or emotional tears from myself, making any point that comes out of my mouth completely useless and just reinforces the other person's point of view.

I have so much admiration for friends who always seem to know what to say in these situations. My best friend Kate has always been incredible at debating, ever since we met aged 11. I remember watching her in awe during high school debates and marveling at how well she remembered key points, listened carefully to her opponent and gave amazing answers. I would sit silently at the back avoiding the teacher and praying I wasn't called on next! Kate says she suffers with emotional brain freeze all the time too, but to me it seems like she's always nailing it. 

I used to think 'Feminist' was a dirty word. Up until I was about 21 I was the type of person who would claim to 'just get on more easily with boys' despite having had solid female friendship groups my entire life. I thought being a feminist meant I had to HATE men, which obviously didn't sound appealing at all. My only obvious point of reference was an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch where she went back in time to the 60's and the women were talking about being feminists and burning their bras. I genuinely thought being a feminist meant I had to burn my bras, stop shaving my legs and throw away my hair straighteners and make up. To sum up...I WAS CLUELESS. Good job I had Kate as a best friend!

Kate has improved my life in many ways over the past 20 years but one of the things I will thank her for to the end of my days was when she lent me her copy of Caitlin Moran's How To Be A Woman. This book completely changed my life. I learned that being a feminist didn't mean any of the things I had previously thought. In the first chapter she breaks it down into such a simple definition even my tiny ignorant brain could handle it:

She wrote that all it means is the belief that everybody should be equal. That is all. No bra burning. No leg hair growing (unless you want to, which is absolutely fine too), no hair straightener binning (luckily I did this on my own anyway a few years later). Just the belief in equality for all, focusing on addressing the imbalance between men and women.

The way she wrote about feminism made it sound exciting and fun, a club that I wanted to be a part of. She made me realise I already WAS a feminist, I just hadn't noticed yet. It also stirred something in my heart that had been lying dormant for years but was more than ready to wake up. I cried a lot whilst reading the book, realising that so many things that had happened to me and my friends in the past that I thought were normal and fine, were absolutely not. That the way my gender was treated by male friends, boyfriends, strangers and the media was wrong and 'boys being boys' wasn't an excuse that sat with me well anymore. I realised that we live in a patriarchal society whose expectations of men and women continuously lead to serious problems for all genders.

After I finished the book I read it again from the start to finish. I was angry that it had taken me so long to have this epiphany, but I was excited and ready to start living as a baby feminist. I began to notice inequality everywhere I turned. It may have been more comfortable living in my previous bubble but I was so glad to have finally woken up to this new way of looking at life. 

I realised feminist heroes had been there all along quietly pushing me in the right direction. As an eight year old Disney Princess obsessive convinced that once you find your 'prince' and get married everything will be OK, the Spice Girls were the heroines I didn't know I needed. My parents may have been shocked at my abrupt change of music taste (and clothes) but they taught me that girls could have fun and support each other without a prince in sight. I spent most of my 13th year singing along with Destiny's Child about how "I pay my own fun and I pay my own bills, always fifty fifty in relationships" (spoiler alert readers: I had no bills and had never been in a relationship) but was SOLD on the idea of being an Independent Woman. Leia was there too, showing me that princesses can save themselves and be total bad-asses even when it seems like you're the only woman in a galaxy full of men.

There were the women in my real life too of course. My Mum, starting her own business from scratch and generally being the most loving, kind and amazing person I know. My Granny, always doing exactly what she wanted and never settling. All of my Aunties and my female cousins, all inspirational women who have fought their own tough battles. And of course Kate - my best friend and soul sister. Thank you for sticking by me when I declared myself 'not a feminist'. For patiently explaining what it actually meant. For showing me unconditional love and support all the time. For lending me 'How To Be A Woman.' For fighting every day for women and our equality. You're a radical feminist babe!

Annie Lennox closed the March4Women event by encouraging us all to be 'Global Feminists'. To believe in the ‘equality of rights, with empowerment and justice made available to every woman and girl in every corner of the world".This is something I want to take seriously and use my privilege as a white western woman to be an advocate for those who's voices aren't heard. You can read more about Annie's work here and how to get involved.

There's a lot more I want to say. This post is just the start, an introduction really. I hope to focus on and write about specific issues, interview women about their stories, and hopefully report back on a lot more marches and rallies. 

Peace, Love and Girl Power x

What to do when you're 'stuck in a funk'

I've been using this phrase a lot recently. I've lost track of the amount of times I've said it. It wasn't until my friend Lizzy asked me what I meant by 'a funk' that I questioned whether it's an actual phrase at all. Is it a Kiwi thing? Did I make it up? Has everyone else been too polite/confused to question what the heck I'm going on about?! (totally appreciate the tough love though Lizzy)

Well to me it's a cross between 'stuck in a rut' (clearly what normal people say), and 'no idea what I'm doing'. It actually makes it sound a bit jollier than it really is. I'd like to be stuck in a different kind of funk. An Uptown Funk maybe. WOAH. I'm not even kidding, about two minutes after I typed that sentence, Uptown Funk came on the radio. Am I in the Truman Show or something?! Excuse me for two minutes while I demonstrate my incredible and underrated dance moves to Margot the dog. (Nick's Dad's dog...not mine)

Ok I'm back and Margot has left the room in embarrassment. At least she's not climbing on my lap and attempting to place her chewed up toy IN MY ACTUAL MOUTH as I try and type, which is our usual relationship dynamic.

I'm not going to bore you with my predicament at the moment, as it was summed up morosely in my last post. Things are crawling forward; it was never going to be a speedy ride. Nick is on a roll and is applying for jobs left, right and center. We still don't have an exact area in mind to live in and we're leaning towards the South West coast, but a couple of jobs in Scotland have appeared so who knows. I'm pretty relaxed about either location, although the south coast is quite a fair bit warmer, plus I love cider.

I am attempting to break into the world of freelance writing. Unfortunately for you, this probably means I will be sharing more blog posts like this, and links to articles I've written for other sites AND FORCE YOU TO READ THEM. ALL OF THEM. OK?

The upside of this is that if it works out, I can work pretty much anywhere so there's less pressure on both of us finding a job at the same time in the same place. Also we can get a dog. I feel like I mention wanting to get a dog in every blog post no matter what the initial subject is.

The downside is that it involves a lot of hustling, something as as serial 'sorry to bother you but if you get a sec could you take a look at this please ONLY if you have time of course sorry, sorry, sorry' type, I'm not amazing at yet.

It's a strange time at the moment. We're in a sort of limbo and it's easy for us to feel frustrated, misunderstood and worried (we are millennials after all!) or just feel stuck in a big ol' FUNK. However, noticing this is important as is making an active attempt to get out of it. With this in mind, here are the ways I'm trying to bring myself out of my funky funk:

1. Appreciating the small things

I honestly can't remember the last time Mum and I sat in the living room with a cup of tea just chatting and doing...nothing. For the past few years every time we'd see each other it would be for a celebration, or a quick visit where we'd have to cram in as much as possible. There is such a joy in just hanging out, talking or watching T.V. I know I've been pretty moody and difficult since getting home (does anybody else revert back to their teenage self when they're with their parents?!) but my rents have been so patient and kind to me, and I really appreciate them.

2. Going OUTSIDE

I am terrible for this. I absolutely love the outdoors, I feel rejuvenated and alive the moment I step out the front door and gulp in some fresh air. I get excited just seeing a squirrel. HOWEVER. I am also one of the laziest people I know and could quite possibly spend five days in a row without leaving the house if I was left on my own. This almost happened last week. If it wasn't for Nick I may have become a hermit by now, but I must keep reminding myself how important it is to leave the house every day. It's an instant psychological boost.

3. Getting crafty

When I moved to New Zealand I got into creating my own cross-stitches and embroidery. The act of creating does wonders for my mood and motivation. It makes me feel productive and like I've achieved something, which I think is important especially when I'm not working. As Nick Offerman so wisely puts: "Making anything with one's hands is a very healthy pursuit." Well said Nick. I completely agree.

4. Making time for my buds

This one has been tricky. I'm not earning at the moment so have to be incredibly careful with what I spend my money on. Our family and friends were the sole reason we came home, yet seeing them right now requires a lot of travel and spending. Seeing my buddies gives me such a boost though, so I think any money spent on getting to them is completely worth it. They inspire me, make me laugh and remind me why I'm here.

5. Keep writing

When I spoke to Kate (bestie) about my idea of freelance writing for a living, she encouraged me to just write something every day, to get the juices flowing. Even if its just for me to read. I took her advice and have been writing (mostly nonsense) each day about how I'm feeling, or something that's inspired me that day. It's been amazing and she was totally right of course - it really has helped me find my 'writing voice' and each day I find I have a new idea of a piece I want to write about. Now I just need to find a way to get paid to do it! ANYONE?! 

*tumbleweed*